A few days ago, I had one of those moments we all hope for.
The kind of epiphany that doesn’t just change your mind. It changes how you see yourself.
I’ve been reading Familiar Stranger by Tyler Staton, and that book hit me to the core. It got into my heart and into my soul. Something shifted.
The awakening wasn’t really about food.
It was about suffering.
I realized something about myself that I had never fully seen before.
I am not willing to suffer for very long.
Maybe that’s not the perfect way to say it, but it’s true.
I’ve been fortunate in life. I haven’t experienced a tremendous amount of suffering. Because of that, I’ve built a habit of avoiding discomfort whenever I can.
Food exposed it.
If I want something to eat, I’ll find it.
I’ll make it.
I’ll buy it.
I’ll drive to the restaurant that serves it.
I’ll go to great lengths to satisfy that craving.
If I think I’m hungry, I eat.
I don’t sit with the feeling.
I don’t question it.
I don’t let it pass.
I just reach for food.
That realization has changed the way I’m approaching this journey.
I’m only a few days in, but I’m already doing things differently.
Every bite is sacred.
I’m not eating mindlessly anymore. I’m slowing down. I’m paying attention. I’m thinking about every bite instead of letting food disappear into habit.
I’m eating at mealtimes instead of every time I think about food.
I’m paying attention to portions.
I’ve sworn off refined sugar because it’s kryptonite for me. Once I let it back into my life, I crave it all the time. What’s wonderful is that the reverse is true, too. After several days without it, those cravings begin to disappear.
None of those changes happened because I discovered a better diet.
They happened because I discovered something about myself.
This isn’t about perfection.
I’m not setting big goals.
I’m taking it one day at a time.
I’ll share the victories.
I’ll also tell you when I blow it.
Because that’s part of the journey, too.
My hope is that by being honest about my own relationship with food, maybe you’ll recognize something in yourself.
Maybe your struggle isn’t food.
Maybe it’s something else.
But sometimes the breakthrough isn’t found in changing the habit.
Sometimes it’s found in understanding why the habit exists in the first place.